Wednesday, January 13, 2010

The Captain of the Titanic Has Made His Move!

Premier Ed Stelmach has received news that there is an iceberg ahead. He has assembled his gurus and has made the momentous decision; the iceberg will move.

Initially, this Government thought the iceberg would simply melt. However, given the advice from their friends on the extreme right, Ms Smith and the Wildrose, that there is no science to support Global Warming; they have come to the conclusion that the iceberg cannot melt. While this caused them some concern, they now realize option two is acceptable; the iceberg will move.

With this in mind they will announce, most probably today, that the deck chairs on the Titanic have been successfully shuffled.

The Cabinet Shuffle we've all been waiting for (yawn) will look something like this;

1. Ron Liepert, having successfully screwed over the Health Care portfolio, will now move to Energy. The sector will be given all they ask for so he can then join them for drinks at the Pete Club. With this move Albertans will no longer need to worry about Health Care in Alberta: they will have to move to BC or Saskatchewan since they have no jobs in Alberta.

2. Ted Morton will be given a major economic portfolio; either Finance or Treasury Board. He will be able to practise the Reagan Economics he learned from south of the border. We witness the last signal to the moderates in the Tory Caucus that the move to protect their right flank from the Wildrose has begun in earnest. This will result in Health Care, Education and Social Services being treated as an expense to be cut dramatically rather than an investment to be embraced as a future requirement; a healthy, educated population.

Following this they announce a Throne Speech for February 4th and a budget for February 9th. The budget will show that finances aren't as bad as people might think (thank heaven the gas price was up for a while). After this they will steal from Stephen Harper and prorogue the Legislature by mid-March declaring all is well and good in Alberta.

They now look down the road and see their options as;

Option #1
Since they have accomplished everything they have promised us (in their minds), they will call an early election. Not a good decision since even this group can read the tea leaves and see that the voter is not very happy with their mismanagement of everything. They will be advised that this anger will translate into Wildrose support, even though the Wildrose stands for nothing at present the voter will choose Tweedle Dumb over Tweedle Dumber.

Option # 2
By proroguing the Legislature they "get outta Dodge" and can "re-calibrate", making the voter realize they are the best option and should be allowed to continue to mismanage the Province, while cutting the hell out of all that is sacred to Albertans.

Option # 3
Sorry Ed, all out of options.

Response from the Opposition;

New Democrats
We are morally outraged. Let's organize some town halls.

They can't do that, can they? Let's all get ready to shake our fist at them.

How do we eat at the trough? Do we have to use our hands?

One Person's Opinion


  1. Should be : "However, given the advice from their friends on the extreme right …"

  2. Thank you and corrected,

    Donn to Dusk